In the new “I Am Second” video, former Miss America 2008 Kirsten Haglund has shared her battle and victory over Anorexia and finding her true identity from the Bible especially from the book of Psalms.
Anorexia is nothing but an eating disorder that is low weight, fear of gaining weight, a strong desire to be thin, and Food restriction.
She began her journey when she discovered that she is into ballet in her early age. Knowing that she would excel in the area of ballet dancing, Kirsten pursued in the area. It was also because of ballet that she started pushing her body physically.
“For the very first time, I thought, ‘maybe I should be thinking about what I’m eating,” she recalls. She started by skipping her lunch and blacklisting foods. “It felt very good, “she said. But her mother got diagnosed with breast cancer while her brother developed OCD. This led her to be so anxious.
At the age of 15, Kirsten was at the peak of her anxiety. She would think that the sacrifice and abuse of self will help her achieve all she wants but in the end she would always say, “all I saw was a failure.” Kirsten recalled her struggle as a slave, “It’s about food, and it’s about losing weight, creating a body type you want”.
Though Kirsten’s parents were nurses, they only discovered her condition when she went out of control in her “discipline”. “I was so mad at my mom that she betrayed me that she took me to the doctor,” she says. Then she thought of deceiving her parents by playing along.
Kirsten planned to just gain a little weight to fool her parents and then continued her “discipline” but she then discovered that she can’t fool God. One day, while exercising without eating, she almost blacked out and fell. That was the turning point of her behavior.
Out of nowhere, Kirsten had a rush of wants–pizza, cake, get married, to be a real person. It was a moment that she thought of change in her life. Thanks to supportive friends, she took the road to recovery with a Bible given as a gift. It was then she found the words of David in Psalm, “just so beautiful… so rich … so real… just like jumped off the page… I cried.”
Kirsten found out through reading God’s word the comfort to her soul that she wasn’t alone, that “Jesus was like reaching down His hand in the pit. Through my relationship with Christ and understanding my identity as a child of God, I realized that love and acceptance was a free gift I could never earn. That grace was given to me by God,” she proclaimed with her changed life.